Success through a positive mental attitude By Napoleon Hill & W. Clement Stone: My Review

First of, this is truly a book you must read over and over until you basically know it by heart. There is not one page, one chapter that is not useful
So where do I start?

This books basically speaks on creating and keeping your internal environment consciously.
If you are unhappy,  you are not living the life you want
To live the life you want to, you must have a definite purpose
To have a definite purpose, you must sit and think, write it down and determine in your heart to follow through.
Only a definite purpose will give you the fuel to create and keep your internal environment.

CREATING YOUR INTERNAL ENVIRONMENT.
It's your fault.
Where you are, how you feel is entirely your fault. Step one is to accept this. You are the most integral part of  success story. Everything else is a by product.  You decide. You choose.
It's your fault. Everything You have achieved or not achieved is your fault.
Accepting this concept will help You take responsibility for your desired future. 
But first, you must know the desired future. 
Your desired future is determined by your purpose. The specifics of that purpose creates the foundation for your internal environment. Note that your purpose isn't only monetary, but can be physical, mental and/or spirtual.
You are only limited by how much You can imagine in your heart. So take the time and sit in the quiet, call upon divine inspiration and see the person You want to become in everyway. Write it down. It does not have to be perfect, verbose or overly articulate. It just had to be right. To you. The elements of your internal environment are created by your purpose. Your purpose is created by You. Your purpose is allowed to evolve, so give yourself room to bend and grow. You find that in bending and growing as the years go by, "a seed of corn cannot grow into a mango tree". It can only be a bigger version of what You initially dreamt for yourself.
When you know what your purpose is and by divine faith and hope, can see it as achievable, that is when You have created your internal environment.

KEEPING YOUR INTERNAL ENVIRONMENT
Success comes only to those who have diligently guarded their internal environment. Your internal environment is full of good ELEMENTS like faith, hope, optimism, determination, generosity and purpose. The continous use and acknowledgement of these elements will lead to success. You need to consciously guard against these elements being destroyed by other forces. 
Although we have our internal environment, our external environment still exist.  We need to never allow anything negative slip through internally. Every thought or action must have a visa interview, patting down,  by scan and letter from a religious authority before it's allowed in. In other words, always look for the good in every situation before you decide to dwell on it or share it. If there's no good in it, get rid of it. Everything grows. Especially bad elements like depression, anger, hatred, laziess, gossip, lying. Don't allow them in. You allowed to accuse your self out of those situation or the narrating of those situations.

You must break down your goals to daily achievables.  When you do this, there will be intent behind every minute. Even the time to rest! Others cannot tell you how to spend your time when you have done it for yourself with the backing of purpose. Suddenly, you realise that some matters cannot take priority and not every thing that is urgent is really urgent or is yours to solve.

You must also keep yourself in good physical health. For the internal environment is literally carried around by the body. Exercise, eat right, rest, meditate, have a good time, relax and SLEEP!  There is no point having a great internal environment in the grave.

Remember the written purpose?? Read it everyday, sink it into your heart and be able to call on it anywhere anytime. Also continously remind yourself by whose authority you can achieve it. It's only through Divine help. Prayers are not us communicating with God what we want and what we are going through. It is also an avenue to remember the omnipotentce of God. Build the walls of  your internal environment with continous reminders of your purpose, prayers and mediation on the word of God.

Lastly, do not compare your journey with others. All the validation you need come from you. Take out time and do an inventory in your achievements . If there's progress, there is growth. If there is growth there is sucess. And again, whatever anyone says, take the best of that information and allow only that into your internal environment .

The bottomline line is, the success story of your life starts and ends with YOU. We are at the end of the day, a product of our choices.
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Who designed this?

In a very prestigious estate in Lagos, I noticed an edifice that was just atrocious, instantly asking who designed this? In shock and repulsion, I called on fellow colleagues over ensuing months to look upon the monstrosity and they all agreed with me. It was atrocious. You see, I had a site in the same estate. I immediately felt very proud of my design and soon to be building. My client even noticed the building. It was hard to miss.

A couple of months into construction, I had a reason to be in the same street as the monstrosity and I decided to pay a little more attention to its "architecture". Surprisingly I understood it! And honestly,  I was quite impressed. I thought to myself this could have been a very good building. Albeit, it's was not a conventional style of architecture but it could have been a spectacular building. I realised slowly that the elements that made it a monstrosity where all actually a result of poor construction methods or poor choice of materials. It seemed obvious to me that the client probably became the architect during construction. I walked away thinking, "Poor architect..."

Fast forward a couple of months, on that same estate, I became that "poor architect". My client even told me that architecture could have been his true calling! I muttered under my breath that he lacked the prerequisite for the degree -Taste. I eventually had to leave the project. Not only was the sight of my master piece becoming a cesspool of seemingly popular ideas depressing but my purpose on site was non existent.  I mean, no point advising when no one is taking the advice abi?

Now as a young architect, I had to figure out where I missed it. Where I handed over authority and responsibility to the client.  Where the client stopped trusting me to interpret his vision. Two areas stuck out.

COMMUNICATION
When we get a brief as Architects,  we sometimes assume that this is all we need. I have found out, the hard way, that "design a four units of  3 bedroom terraces" is not a brief.  We must understand what the client wants in terms of aesthetics, interaction of spaces, budget, e.t.c. in other words,your design should not be your wet dream but your clients'. Your building becomes a failure if your client is not satisfied even though you are! We must remember as Architects whose building it is, taking the time to explain our concept to the client. Here comes the need for a complete set of drawings, which includes 3d image's and specifications.  As much as possible, nothing should be left to question. There are only so many changes you can make on site during construction before the building becomes  "the house that Jack built". We must make the client understand the need for this complete vision (and make him pay for it too!). So he can save time and money at the end.

PROFESSIONALISM
We, as Architects,  must present ourselves as the master builder at all times. There is no area of construction and design where your client should ever know more than you. This could be fatal to your role in the project, because trust lost is not always financial. It can be professional as well. We must update ourselves continously to stay ahead of latest developments and trends in the building industry, home and abroad.

We must also consciously cultivate our relationships with our clients. Such relationships are necessary for the growth of your business. But always keep in mind what your primary role in their life is.  Always remembering that familiarity breeds contempt.
Let me explain. Just as you can never be close enough to your mother in law that you insult your spouse in front of her. The worst of you that the client has seen will rollover into all aspects of your relationship with them including  your professional relationship.
Be careful not to be so friendly that you kow-tow to their every whim despite your professional opinion. Dear architect, you were hired for your expertise. We have to learn to separate issues and know our place in our clients' life and on a project.

All this to say, it happens. Clients become Architects especially in private projects and we have to learn not to take it so personally. Afterall, we have to agree that it's his house and his money......he can pretty  much do whatever he likes.

Destiny by T.D. Jakes: My Review

After reading Instinct , I felt like Destiny was just the perfect next read.
While Instinct tells us there is a purpose that comes naturally, in the quiet....Destiny tells me there is a preordained place of beauty and logic, a very familiar place I was made for.
It reminds me of a lot of principles that I instinctively knew already.
Ever had that feeling, like "I knew this!"?
Personally I have always said that all that leads to a successful life is CHOICE, FOCUS AND BALANCE.  This book just reminded me of that.
While I would love to talk about every point I learnt while reading this book, two points stuck out for me and I guess that's what I will carry from this.
we all know what we are suppose to do. It's where we feel the most at peace.  But in that space, there is room for success and failures

1) DO YOU TENACIOUSLY
Everyone of us is uniquely and wonderfully made to fulfil a very distinct purpose. The best part is only you can find that purpose in the quiet
And we are comfortable in our failures because we can justify our actions! Maybe I am the only one who ever felt this but it doesn't matter how it turns out because you did what was right for you. There's peace there.
The same goes for our successes, we see the bigger picture  or the reason for it, we are forced to continue even when it is not popular.
It is difficult to keep doing something when you have no justification or validation.  It is even worse when you allow others give you that validation. You have to know why you do what you do.
An extension of this school of thought is that you empathise with others doing something "strange" (even to you!)because they believe it is for a good reason. You empathise because you know the feeling.
So these are my steps and they are not as hard as you might think. Find a place of quiet - think - make a decision on a course of action - see the end goal -  write it down - read it constantly - act and never stop.

Nothing fuels the human spirit like a constant source of validation.

PS.  keep the haters out and you don't have to explain your dream to anybody.

2) STEP OUT THE BOX AND BE UNCOMFORTABLE

Now this part is about mentorship particularly. A section of the growth process that I never understood its significance.  But I have learnt that there is no quicker way to get out of a rut even when you know your purpose than through mentorship. It's important to choose wisely and realise that one mentor cannot fit every area of your life. So just like when you go in for a new job, know exactly what you plan to get out of it. We have to make sure we don't over stay our welcome!
Actually this affects every area. See, not all friends play the same role all the years of your life. Same goes for mentors,  jobs, partners. Quickest way to grow is to accept change. I mean,  it can't be growth if it remains the same, right?
So perhaps,  having a mentor point you in a different direction completely  does not seem easy but that's what you need! Just remember growth is not easy, it is challenging.
Growth is consistent challenges that can lead to your purpose when resolved properly.
Mediocrity is using the same method for every situation, everytime

Personally, my light bulb moment in this book came when I realised and accepted that growth isn't comfortable . Biologically even, growth does not leave things the way they were. It operates under a new set of rules.
It just isn't comfortable! So don't be afraid if you've never done it before, if it seems strange, if it's a new environment, if you don't understand these set of rules! If you are sure in your spirit that it would lead you to your destiny, just DO IT!

While both points might seem contradictory, it really has a flow.  The first must come before the other. No other way around it. Trust your self and do not be afraid to do what ever it takes within your moral confines to get what you need to arrive safely at Destiny's harbour.......